The Rob Blog Scrolls

Thursday, March 26, 2009, 5:58 PM

Greetings ladies and gentlemen it's time for my daily rant. Today I find myself sitting in my favorite spot.

The sun is still out so I took advantage of all the natural light by opening the blinds. It's nice out today! Armed with a fresh cup of coffee, a cigarette, and a laptop I prepare to sit and visit with you. I kick some Israel Kamakawiwoole Facing Future into WinAmp and start typing.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Quote From The Doors:
People Are Strange

The other day I was reminded of something that happened to me late last year. I thought I would share it with you. Now the person who was involved is not a registered member of this board but she does

read this blog regularly. I will not name you but I know you will be embarrassed none the less. Don't you love it?

I was talking to a woman on Yahoo Messenger for the first time. We met through a mutual activity and started emailing each other. The correspondence progressed into a nightly chatter. Curiosity got the best of her so she asked if I had a picture of me so she could see who she was talking to. We established that we both had web cam's so I told her "You show me yours and I'll show you mine! (Picture (Get you minds out of the gutter))". We both turned on our web cam and after we got a good look at each other I turned mine off. Looking good by the way! LMAO! Well we continued to chat for about 15 more minutes and by now she had forgotten her cam was still on. All of a sudden she stands up and scratches her crotch! OMG I LMAO'ed! I mean, not just a underwear shift but a full blown, searching for treasure in the pleasure crevice, scratch. Now I told you I am not the smartest person when it comes to self preservation. That's just me! I type back.... "You should probably turn off your camera before you do that next time. OMG!!!!!! I tell you I crack my self up sometimes!!! I know you were embarrassed!!! I could feel you blushing. I know you wanted to hit the "X" and never speak to me (you probably will now!). I am sorry sweetheart but that is just plain hilarious! Cute underwear by the way!

--------------------

I just think it is so funny what people do when they think you are not looking. It is one of the reasons I like to sit somewhere in public and just people watch! Man the things I witnessed.

-------------------

For those of you ladies with big butts that like to wear tiny underwear..... I suggest you do one of the following:
1. Look around before you start the anal archeology.
2. Wear bigger panty's.
3. Wear a Thong. I mean c'mon! If it ends up there anyway you might as well start it there!
4. Don't wear any underwear. PLEASE!

-------------------

For those of you who get dry nostrils... Either take a look around before you start digging your nose or don't wipe it on:
1. Anything that other people might touch.
2. Your clothes.
3. Your tongue. That is just down right gross!

-------------------

For those of you women who wear thongs.... God bless you all!!! If you are going to display the little triangle in the back please make sure you don't have your thong on sideways! It just drives all us OCD people crazy. We want to walk up to you and straighten it. For those of you that are not sure how to wear one please note, two of the strings will be just that... Strings. The part that covers your crotch usually has a cotton patch to help you stay dry and fresh. Also Pay attention in patterns in the lace. See Referenced Picture

If your thong is on like that.... You are not wearing it properly!

If your thong looks like this (On correctly).... God Bless you.... Can I call you some time?

-------------------

And ladies! If you missed that lesson your mom tried to teach you or you do not know how to sit down like a lady while wearing a short dress.... Please shave!

-------------------

Guys! For those of you punk ass wanna be gangsters who's "saggin it".... There is a neat new invention called toilet paper! It is just plain gross to display your skid marks!!!

-------------------

Quote From New England Medical Journal:
Men think about sex about once every 15 minutes. Men experience an erection an average of 12 times in an 8 hour period.

Guys.... If you can not control your willy while in public:
1. Tuck it.
2. Duct Tape it to your ass.
3. Stop looking!
4. Don't go out into public!

-------------------

Quote From Rob:
The beach was gods best invention!

What makes me say that?

1. Say you have a new girlfriend. Wanna get a cheap preview? Take her to the beach! God bless the man who invented the bathing suit (Had to be a guy, a woman would have made it fashionable to cover up.

2. If you just want to sample the menu? Lots of women running around in what strangely resembles bedroom delicates!

3. Isn't the sun just wonderful?

4. Isn't the water just refreshing?

5. Hey god even put sand on beaches! The ultimate place to just roll over on to your belly to hide that unsightly bulge you got from staring at all the pretty girls.... Was that a nipple?

-------------------

Well that's all for tonight folks! For the ladies... As usual my email address is rob@robsland.com . That's where all the hate mail can be addressed to. LMAO!!!!!

Quote Of The Day:
Sometimes You Just Want To Break The Law!

XXXOOO

Rob

Close Scroll